Three Things That I Am Miserable At
Hi there, I hope all has been well on your side of the world.
A little about why I write this, a simple answer would be pretty much why I wrote the previous one. I have time and my mind is thinking about a zillion things right now, so I thought I might as well try to articulate some of those thoughts and gain more clarity about them. I also write this, because I keep reading that people only want to talk about the good parts of their lives, so maybe this is an article that serves as a break from all the good stuff of my life that I keep sharing.
Let’s dive in then.
Patience
I am the most impatient person I know of. I want all answers yesterday, I want to solve problems in a day, I want to repair everything within an hour. I understand things take time, but sitting on the sideline watching things unfold is what I suck at. I get an urge to do something, I want to somehow contribute and move everything faster. This helps in some scenarios, mostly when it comes to my professional life, but in my personal life, this only has created more chaos.
I have an argument with my mom, and within fifteen minutes I’ll go sit next to her and not move till she feels better. But, I have learned the hard way that this approach does not solve problems, it just helps ignore them. My mom does not necessarily feel better, but she just is okay to let go of it, but unless the root cause is addressed there is a high chance the problems will resurface. So what needs to be done to address the root cause you ask, we need to give it time and we need to be patient, we need to allow the person the space and time to think through things, and understand why are they hurting what is it that caused them the pain and allow them to get back to you and not yourself rush them into feeling better.
“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.” — Leo Tolstoy
Letting Go
I am miserable when it comes to letting go of people. I hate to even think I can’t talk to someone ever because we fought today. I strongly believe in repairing things over replacing them and hence will always push to somehow find a common ground to not give up. Again on a few occasions, it is fine but on most, it only causes further damage. Sometimes when two friends can’t find reasons to stick, they should experience new friendships and build new bonds to be able to reflect on the past ones.
When a lot of my friends moved abroad I felt really sad, similarly due to the pandemic when a lot of them went back to their hometowns I felt sad, I just don’t like not being able to see people or not being able to talk the way you used to always talk. I have realized with the current generation and age, that this is normal, people will leave, and a lot of times I will be leaving a lot of things behind to go achieve my dreams. What is important is to find common things to connect about even if all of you, are in different phases of life, and hopelessly believe in the fact that what’s yours is going to come back to you and only you.
“We all need to learn to find the GOOD in GOODBYE” — Bhavya Mehta
Settling down
Another thing that I am miserable at is settling down. I love to be on the move always, I am always thinking about where next. In the morning I will be on one of the best trips of my life and in the evening I’ll be planning where I go next. I will keep a huge number as my target salary for next year, achieve it and jump to thinking about the next one. I seldom stop, breathe and reflect on how far I have come. I seldom pause and let all of it sink in and fill me up. I just keep going, from one goal to another, from one journey to the next, I feel this is a problem with falling in love with the process, you just love everything about it so much that you just want to keep going, does not matter how many checkpoints you hit, or how many races you won.
This is not as big a problem I feel as the other two, but not stopping at all has resulted in me rarely being satisfied, instantly getting bored of the routine, and constantly craving new experiences. It is beautiful to visit ten cities in a year, but it is also equally beautiful to visit the same sunset spot ten days in a row. I want to slowly achieve that balance, slowly want to be okay to have months where I do little to nothing new, and then have a few months where everything I do, is a new adventure in itself.
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” — Robert Brault
So seems we are done, yes my brain surely feels lighter. I am not sure why would anyone want to read this, but I appreciate it if you have been with me till here. If this article made you feel that it’s not only you who is dealing with things and figuring out a way to grow, then I will consider the article a success. The underlying point is that we are all in this together.
I’ll like to end with a theory I have, nothing in this world is bad per se, what is bad is doing it excessively. Excessive work or play both will only cause harm, strive for balance, and don’t ever let one single thing define you.
Thank you for taking the time out to read this, and if you want to ever talk about anything or have suggestions about my article drop a comment below. You can also reach out to me on Telegram, LinkedIn, or Instagram.
